My Path

I sit back and reflect on my life and how it has turned out.  Hmmm who would have thought 17 years ago that this is where I would be.  I had such high aspirations and dreams, and as I ponder over the last 17 years of my life I scratch my head in frustration and in joy.  As I look at my classmates’ life and the things they have accomplished, I am often reminded of the great dreams that I once had. Some dreams have been fulfilled and others have fallen by the waste side.

What do you do when you feel like you are running in circles and never really living up to your full potential? A part of me dares to dream, and the other part of me still dreams the big dreams. What keeps me from taking the risks to follow my dreams? Are my dreams not worth it? If not, why do I sit around and sulk about my unfulfilled dreams? Don't I owe it to myself to at least give my dreams a fair shot?

I wanted to do things that excited me, to embark on things that brought passion in my life. So why is it that as I grew up and lost all the passion, the energy, the will and the strength to keep my dreams alive? Why does money dictate my passion or in most cases, kill it? Why did I let "safety of a paycheck" screw my dreams? Why did I stop thinking about what I loved and settled for what pays the bills?

Is it every too late to pursue a dream? I find all the reasons or better yet excuses as to why I cannot follow my dreams: "I don't have time, I am a single mother with one income, I'll do it when I have more money etc.” Could it be my biggest reason is fear of failure? What am I waiting on?  A perfect day when all stars will line up in just the right direction and I would be guaranteed success? It never works that way. That moment of glory never arrives. All circumstances will almost never be in my favor. There will always be something to overcome. I just have to bite the bullet and take the plunge. It’s time for me to fill my “joy bucket”. I am refusing to give up on my dreams because of my vision of reality. I will be 35 in the next couple of months and I'm at that point in my life where I can either follow my dreams and become whatever I like or I can join the rat-race and become what everyone is becoming. I am tired of just going through the motions.